A Life Askew

Bumbling Through One Day At A Time

It is NOT Okay to Slay Your Friends

on March 16, 2012

I think that raising children is one of those things that usually brings you joy, frustration, tears and joy.  However, I also think it is peppered with times when you seriously doubt what you’re doing and consider trading the child in for something like a dog, or monkey.

Yesterday was one of the latter times.

My daughter has recently taken up the past time of slaying dragons.  Which I felt was a little weird anyhow, you know, for a girl.  She’s really into it, too.  She’ll steal the lid to my laundry hamper to shield herself from their fire breath and yell cries of battle as she runs down the hall chasing them.

As boyish as this seems to me, it’s really quite fun to watch (encourage).  So, while we were visiting a friend yesterday, she found a piece of paper that rolled up into a fabulous sword and started hunting dragons (they are everywhere you see).  We were out on the balcony and she would alternately chase down and stab dragons, and squeal in girlie delight when she got one.  My friend and I stood watching this with great amusement until things took an unbelievably creepy turn.

Apparently there was a particularly vicious dragon (or maybe it just wasn’t a color she liked) and she took it down with reckless abandon.  I’m serious, she stabbed that poor dragon 3 or 4 times before it went down, then she stabbed it another 3 or 4 times after it was down.  The whole time she was yelling and grunting like she was a soldier in “300”.  That was funny, but the creepy part was next.  So, now the dragon was officially dead and she paused to brush back her hair and take a moment to appreciate her kill, when she looked at her sword, held it up in front of her face, and LICKED the pretend sword from hilt to tip.  SHE LICKED THE SWORD.  Who does that?  Holy hell.  I was torn between banning dragon hunting for life and laughing so hard I couldn’t breath.  Laughing won out.

But really?  I’ve never been more creeped out by a kid than in that moment.

I’m still racking my brain trying to figure out what movie we saw someone do that with a sword.  And when I figure it out, it will be black listed from our house.

Fortunately, the hunt didn’t stop there, and my friend and I were enlisted to help.  We were ordered to follow and when we giggled too much, we had a VERY stern 3 year old shooshing us to be quiet.  (After all, you can’t sneak up on a dragon if you’re giggling loudly.)  Together we chased a few dragons and she protected us and killed them all.  I ended up having to take a bathroom break in the middle of the excitement.  When I came out, I saw my friend crouching behind her breakfast bar/kitchen counter and my daughter, posed with sword out in front, standing at the corner peeking around it into the kitchen.  She again shooshed me to be quiet, and then my friend for filling me in on why she was hiding.

The dragon in the kitchen was extra dangerous and so needed extra caution when sneaking up on it.  Running in all willy nilly wasn’t going to cut it this time.  So, my kid worked her self up for the attack.  Finally she charged, running and war crying like a pro, sword out in front of her, when the dragon became too much and she threw her sword in the air, screamed like a little girl and ran to go hide in the bathroom.  We asked her to come save us from the dragon, and she said, “NO!!”  That was the end of the dragon slaying for a few hours.

When they resumed, we were at the park meeting with friends for a picnic.  They had their own two children with them, ages 4 and 5.  While we were waiting for them to show up, my girl had found many sticks that were perfectly suited to be her new dragon slaying weapons.  She ran around slaying everything from the trash can to the slide.  When our friends showed up, she looked up, saw them and took off (with a war cry) waving her sword in front of her.  I, being the responsible mother that I am, called after her, “Monkey!! No slaying your friends!!”  She looked back, and then threw down the stick.  See?  Responsible mom here…

The rest of the afternoon was considerably less exciting, well, dragon hunting wise anyhow.  I think the only other real incident was when, we think, my kid decided that our friend’s husband’s butt was a dragon.  O_o  She went right for the kill too, straight jab.  Poor guy looked awfully surprised, but otherwise took it pretty well, considering.  One last reminder that slaying people wasn’t allowed and that ended our dragon  festivities for the day.

Hopefully this is all just a phase.  I did mention what a joy raising a kid is, right?? 😉

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One response to “It is NOT Okay to Slay Your Friends

  1. Alicia Burl says:

    HAHAHAHAHA i absolutely love this cant wait til my two pick up an interesting hobby!!

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